It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for Sightseers.
I’ll watch pretty much any film ‘cause I love a movie night
But every so often a film comes along which is just inexcusably shite
Sightseers is a prime example of film making done at its worst
By the time I was 10 minutes in it had started to make my brain hurt
It says on the blurb it’s a comedy but it doesn’t raise even a smile
I’d experience greater hilarity with a serious case of piles
The premise itself is a good one, two social outcasts on a murdering spree
Whilst visiting tourist attractions across some of England’s best scenery
But this is a mess of a movie, I could list all the things that it lacks
I was hoping for a comedy Bonnie and Clyde with added wellies and pack-a-macks
So take my advice and avoid this, treat it like it has the plague
Let me spell this out…it is AWFUL, just in case I was being too vague
I was going to rate this as zero, but it’s one saving grace in my eyes
Is at least you can take in the beautiful views of the English countryside
1/10
