Rhyming Reviews: Sightseers

It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for Sightseers.

I’ll watch pretty much any film ‘cause I love a movie night

But every so often a film comes along which is just inexcusably shite

Sightseers is a prime example of film making done at its worst

By the time I was 10 minutes in it had started to make my brain hurt

It says on the blurb it’s a comedy but it doesn’t raise even a smile

I’d experience greater hilarity with a serious case of piles

The premise itself is a good one, two social outcasts on a murdering spree

Whilst visiting tourist attractions across some of England’s best scenery

But this is a mess of a movie, I could list all the things that it lacks

I was hoping for a comedy Bonnie and Clyde with added wellies and pack-a-macks

So take my advice and avoid this, treat it like it has the plague

Let me spell this out…it is AWFUL, just in case I was being too vague

I was going to rate this as zero, but it’s one saving grace in my eyes

Is at least you can take in the beautiful views of the English countryside


gem seddon freelance blogger freelance film journalist freelance writer

About the author

Gem is a freelance writer with 11 years of experience in entertainment journalism and movie blogging. She's written for outlets including Digital Spy, TechRadar, Vulture, Total Film, GamesRadar+, Certified Forgotten, and more.