Man Of Steel has finally arrived in cinemas. The red-pantied crusader who’s had more faces than Joan Rivers is back! Understandably, the internet is ablaze with everyone and their mother, their mother’s tennis partner and their mother’s tennis partner’s husband throwing in their two cents about ole Supes.
To get a bit of variety into the debate, here are a few of my favourite reactions overheard while I blatantly eavesdropped outside a cinema toilet:
1. “It’s SO amazing I’ve already seen it three times, written two spin-off fan fic scripts and tattooed “Cavill Be Done” on my face!”
2. “I wish that they’d spent more time world building and less time trying to make a film that would appeal to people who aren’t virgins.”
3. “The trouble with reboots is that it’s all about studios generating money from guaranteed popular culture icons, regardless of quality….what? My cardigan? Yes, it’s lovely isn’t it? I got it from H&M.”
4. “Watching Man Of Steel made me feel really bad about my body. Luckily I had a vat of popcorn swimming in high fructose corn syrup to drown myself in.”
5. “I’ve not seen it yet but everyone who says it’s rubbish clearly doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand its ability to transcend every other film ever made.”
6. “It would have been better than Fast & Furious 6 if Lois Lane had danced on top of the spaceship in a peekaboo bra while Zod revved the engine.”
7. “Zack Snyder made Sucker Punch didn’t he? Yeah….so….I hated Man Of Steel.”
8. “The CGI was great, the story was great, the acting was great. Didn’t really like the film, though. You know, in itself.”
9. “I loved it!! The best bit was where it turns out Russell Crowe is Superman’s Dad! Didn’t see that one coming.”
10. “Man Of Steel was a three-way battle between Snyder’s empty imagery, Nolan’s desire to imply that Jesus was an extraterrestrial and my desire to sound really really intelligent even though I don’t really know what imagery means.”
