Rhyming Reviews: The Purge

It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for The Purge.

America 2022, not all that many years from now

They’ve reduced their crime to almost nil, so let me tell you how

For just one night in every year the country holds a purge you see

When everything is legal and there’s no criminality

And so we join a family on a well to do estate

With a father who fits security systems, like shutters, bar and gates

That night a siren rings out loud, the family are safely locked in

When the son hears a man in trouble outside…and decides to let him in

Then an angry mob rock up outside, they want the fella back

And if the family won’t comply….they’ll be in a world of c**p

I won’t ruin the movie by revealing the plot much more

Other than to let you know, the gang are soon INSIDE the door

There then follows an hour or so of fighting/stabbing/guns

It’s not going to win any Oscars, but by and large its fun

The plot may seem implausible but if WERE to happen at any rate

You can bet your bottom dollar, it would be in a place like the States

gem seddon freelance blogger freelance film journalist freelance writer

About the author

Gem is a freelance writer with 11 years of experience in entertainment journalism and movie blogging. She's written for outlets including Digital Spy, TechRadar, Vulture, Total Film, GamesRadar+, Certified Forgotten, and more.