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Get Your Diary Out! 45 Upcoming Films On At The Cinema

We’re midway through 2013 which means that every weekend on the imminent cinematic calendar is full of blockbusters, sequels, superheroes and big budget comic book prequels. Let’s all get on our knees and pray to J.R. Hartley, because the second half promises to be equally as hyperbolic as the first half.

Before you settle in to enjoy this beast of a list, I suggest sticking the kettle on, making a brew and blocking out a half hour from your daily cat meme schedule. Failing that, hit “bookmark!” and return at a more suitable time.

Hold onto your butts, folks. Here’s my rundown of 45 upcoming films on at the cinema for the next six months. In this year commonly known as the year 2013.

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Rhyming Reviews: Warm Bodies

It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for Warm Bodies.

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This Is The End Review

Director: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg
Writer: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride
Running Time: 107 Minutes
Year: 2013

Hollywood’s giant bulge over the apocalypse is showing no sign of…diminishing. In another trend which has set cinema alight, the end of the world is bizarrely, rather a hot ticket to guaranteeing an audience. Yes, we’re all gagging to see our demise played out in Technicolour. Many times.

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World War Z Review

Director: Marc Forster
Writer: Matthew Michael Carnahan, J. Michael Stracyznski, Drew Goddard, Damon Lindelof, Max Brooks
Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos
Running Time: 116 Minutes
Year: 2013

World War Z has so much to overcome before its audience even enter the theatre. It’s a situation which repeats more often that not, especially in the information age of the ole interweb. Films open with a barrage of expectation attached. In the case of World War Z, the background surrounding its plagued production has become the centre of its own mammoth spectacle. As well as taking its central idea from a much loved novel, these ingredients make features such as this easy pickings for critical vultures.

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Snitch Review

Director: Ric Roman Waugh
Writer: Justin Haythe, Ric Roman Waugh
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Barry Pepper
Running Time: 112 Minutes
Year: 2013

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has taken to donning the everyman crown in recent roles with an assurance you can’t believe belongs to a chap who was once a wrestler.  It’s his affable nature which lends films like Snitch a watchable onscreen persona.

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Black Rock Review

Director: Katie Aselton
Writer: Mark Duplass
Starring: Kate Bosworth, Lake Bell, Katie Aselton
Running Time: 83 minutes
Year: 2012

Director Katie Aselton has conjured up a masterful stalk n’ shoot thriller, slamming through the expected turns before sliding into an assault of unusual twists with a fresh eye. Dreaming up the idea herself before handing over scripting duties to her partner, Mark Duplass, Aselton has created a winner in Black Rock.

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Rhyming Reviews: Mama

It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review on Mama.

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World War Z And The Trick Of The Bite: 8 Films You Didn’t Realise Featured Zombies

This week sees the release of zombie behemoth, World War Z. Undead fan favourites such as Zombie Flesh Eaters and Dawn Of The Dead  insinuate from their titles and their artwork that an impending bout of necrotic zombie tomfoolery is imminent. What most cinema goers fail to realise is that Hollywood is continuing to force the undead upon us without us realising it.

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Behind The Candelabra Review

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Writer: Richard LaGravenese, Scott Thorson, Alex Thorleifson
Starring: Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Rob Lowe, Dan Aykroyd
Running time: 118 minutes
Year: 2013
This review appears courtesy of Derby QUAD Blog

There’s mixed emotions when you head into the cinema knowing the film you’re about to watch is the last ever from a director. Steven Soderbergh has truly run the gamut during his career as a filmmaker. Never opting for one specific genre to make his mark, he’s laid his hand to a diverse range of features. From his breakout indie hit Sex, Lies and Videotape right through to the recent actioner Haywire, he always keeps his audience loyal through a directorial hand that knows when to go bold and when to pull back.

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