It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for Sightseers.
Why We Need More Films Like Black Rock
I know what you’re thinking; oh no, here’s another of Gem’s lists. Well, I would say sorry but to be honest putting numbers in front of sentences is the closest thing in my day I get to basic arithmetic. And even then I’m surprised when they end up in the correct order.
Rhyming Reviews: Despicable Me 2
It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for Despicable Me 2.
Weird Memorabilia: Spiderman’s Knob
Film fans are a demographic who’ll easily go without sufficient sustenance to acquire the latest Anchor Bay re-release or a ceiling tile from the Sulaco. It’s safe to say that we’ll deny ourselves life’s essentials (shampoo, sausages, etc.) to acquire a piece of celluloid history. This goes farther than the usual purchasing of a must-have Blu-ray. Some of us will part with the kind of cash that could get our dental problems sorted once and for all. Today, a look at a spot of Spiderman memorabilia.
Get Your Diary Out! 45 Upcoming Films On At The Cinema
We’re midway through 2013 which means that every weekend on the imminent cinematic calendar is full of blockbusters, sequels, superheroes and big budget comic book prequels. Let’s all get on our knees and pray to J.R. Hartley, because the second half promises to be equally as hyperbolic as the first half.
Before you settle in to enjoy this beast of a list, I suggest sticking the kettle on, making a brew and blocking out a half hour from your daily cat meme schedule. Failing that, hit “bookmark!” and return at a more suitable time.
Hold onto your butts, folks. Here’s my rundown of 45 upcoming films on at the cinema for the next six months. In this year commonly known as the year 2013.
Rhyming Reviews: Warm Bodies
It’s a trifle unfair of me to hog all the limelight with my bibble all the time, so I thought I’d introduce you to the wonderful lyrical skills of my buddy, Rob Simpson. A published children’s poet, this guy can spin a limerick out of a couple of boring nouns and a very questionable adjective. He’s onboard the site now to offer a different kind of review. Without further ado about much, here’s Rob’s rhyming review for Warm Bodies.
This Is The End Review
Director: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg Writer: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride Running Time: 107 Minutes Year: 2013
Hollywood’s giant bulge over the apocalypse is showing no sign of…diminishing. In another trend which has set cinema alight, the end of the world is bizarrely, rather a hot ticket to guaranteeing an audience. Yes, we’re all gagging to see our demise played out in Technicolour. Many times.
The Best Films On Freeview June 24th – June 30th
Here are my recommendations for the best films on Freeview this week.
World War Z Review
Director: Marc Forster Writer: Matthew Michael Carnahan, J. Michael Stracyznski, Drew Goddard, Damon Lindelof, Max Brooks Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos Running Time: 116 Minutes Year: 2013
World War Z has so much to overcome before its audience even enter the theatre. It’s a situation which repeats more often that not, especially in the information age of the ole interweb. Films open with a barrage of expectation attached. In the case of World War Z, the background surrounding its plagued production has become the centre of its own mammoth spectacle. As well as taking its central idea from a much loved novel, these ingredients make features such as this easy pickings for critical vultures.
Snitch Review
Director: Ric Roman Waugh Writer: Justin Haythe, Ric Roman Waugh Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Barry Pepper Running Time: 112 Minutes Year: 2013
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has taken to donning the everyman crown in recent roles with an assurance you can’t believe belongs to a chap who was once a wrestler. It’s his affable nature which lends films like Snitch a watchable onscreen persona.
